Journey to Cambodia

A Trip of Realization

No street lights, but dimmed candle lights emitting from a few houses on the streets; no high rise buildings, but sparsely distributed shabby huts; no shoes on the tiny feet, but a filthy, worn-out piece of cloth barely covering the skinny little bodies; basically there was hardly anything ‘civilized’. But no, it was not the ’50s. It was the summer of 2010 when I first stepped my foot on this impoverished land, Cambodia, for a 5-day vacation with my family.

At the beginning of the trip, the itinerary was so boring because it was filled with visits to temples and historical sites. However, what I experienced on the second day of the trip had completely shifted my mindset and perception towards Cambodia.

On that day, we took a boat trip through a floating village. As a mid-stop, we boarded a floating school which was an eye-opener. It was heart-breaking to realize how few facilities there were. Everything on the boat were a classroom which could at most fit into 50 students, and an open-space “playground”. At the corner of the playground, two boys were lying on their stomachs in order to use the deck as a table for them to do assignments on their exercise books. With this scene imprinted in my mind, there is no excuse for me to be lazy given all the well-equipped learning facilities and support that I have. And this kind of self-reflection was what the whole journey was about.

As the French novelist Marcel Proust said, “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.” Cambodia might not have breath-taking scenic views or well-developed infrastructures, but it would definitely allow its visitors to reflect on their lives. Having witnessed how Cambodians struggled under poverty, I realized what true adversity really means and am able to see what I have and how lucky I am.

5 Easy Steps to be a Life Lover

• Be excited
  If the other people are being indifferent, you don't have to be like that too. Show your excitement, and they will be influenced.
  
  
• Be decisive and determined
  Know what you're doing and where you're heading to.
  
  
• Care about what is happening in your surroundings
  Have an opinion on issues.
  
  
• Wake up early
  Get a head start and be more relaxed for the rest of the day.
  
  
• Don't be afraid to fail
  To err is human. You tried, you failed, so what? At least you've tried. If you don't try, you never know.

5 Basic Mistakes Interviewers Should Avoid

Upon evaluating my first ever interviewer experience, I realized how poor an interviewer I was. And so, I wanna list in this post the things that I've done wrong, so as to remind myself and other junior interviewers not to make the same mistakes.

Before the Interview

1. Not setting up a time limit for the interview.
   You may not have time to ask every question on your list before your interviewee tells you that he/she has to leave for another appointment.
   
   
2. Not clearly stating how much of the interview will be covered in your article.
   If you plan to cover only a small part of the interview in your article but the interviewee don't know about it, he/she may end up elaborating too much for each question.
   What's worse, when he/she finds out that a great deal of the interview is cut out from the article, he/she may not be willing to give you help anymore next time.

During the Interview

1. Interrupting the interviewee in the middle of his/her response.
   It shows that you're rude, and no one likes to be interrupted anyway.
   
   
2. Sharing your own story.
   Well, if the article is not about you, why would you occupy everyone's time talking about yourself rather than themselves?
   
   
3. Making too-ready judgement on what they said.
   No one likes to be judged. Judgment would only puts them in an uncomfortable position where they would have to raise their fences and trigger their fight-or-flight response. (Unless if it's what you want to achieve.)

How to Break Free from Our Own Mental Prison

The best way is to lose yourself.

(Source: wewanderandwonder.com)

Forget who you are, both to yourself and to others.

Without labels, past and future, you're free from definitions and open to interpretation.

It's only then that you can live truthfully without all the worries of reputations and other constraints.

It's only then that you can get out of your comfort zones, and explore your potentials and areas where you've never discovered.

Try it. Forget your identity, do what you want and dive into the sense of liberation you've never experienced before.

Can't Forgive Myself

When I can usually be an A grade student, why would I chose to slip up at the MOST important interview and got a somewhat C grade?

My performance in the interview wasn't graded, but it feels like I have gotten a C grade. The moment it was finished, I knew that they would kick me out.

For the first time, I have succeeded... in giving my worst performance and showing the worst side of me which I have neither seen before.

The worst thing is I know that even if I'm unprepared, I can do 500% better than that, and I could ensure that I got admitted. I am the right person. But they just didn't see it cos' I didn't allow that part of me to shine. Instead, I unleashed my negative, weak, coward part out to embarrass and hurt myself.

I can't forgive myself. I just can't. I had a golden opportunity and I blew it. I had a high proficiency of English and I didn't show it. I am confident and positive but I acted lame and negative. 

What could be worst?!

So much pressure... I let down so many people, including myself. I could have proved to them what I can do, but I just freaking let my nerves blew it.

It seems to be the start of self-punishment as if the loss has not been painful enough...

Interview Failure Analysis

Dating back to 2 weeks ago, from being hopeless for a bachelor degree to receiving an interview invitation letter, I have been so nervous and have been preparing for the interview ever since.

It's the first time I have ever prepared for an interview, not even when I interviewed for the associate degree, nor in the UE exam. I was almost fearless and everything were impromptu yet excellent and confident.

Today is the big day, and guess what? I was given a chance and I freaking blew it. I performed way worse than 2 years ago when I had the UE oral exam or the associate degree interview. Everything just went wrong and almost disastrous all of a sudden. I never thought that I could perform that bad. Indeed I've never been that inarticulate ever before.

To be honest, I can't bear with the failure cos' I've never failed in any interview of similar structure, and I have always been fluent and able to deliver exactly what I want to express. Basically I have no difficulty in English communication at all. 

But this time, I failed. I failed thoroughly. 

1. The biggest mistake is doing preparation. I should have realized that I can't memorize well, and if I try to, I usually would stumble upon words and get so nervous, which won't end up well.
2. Comparing myself with the other candidates is completely unnecessary. The more I tried to admire how great the others are doing, the more I forgot that I can actually do the same, and most of the times I can push myself to perform way better.
3. Confidence is the key. Whatever you're trying to convey, no matter how good or how vague the content is, the interviewer would be impressed if you're saying it from your heart with confidence, a smile and enthusiasm.
4. When it's over, move on. No matter how you did in the interview, nothing is reversible. As the proverb goes, "let bygones be bygones". Let it be and carry on with your life.

The 4th point is actually easier said than done. I can't move on except wallowing in self-pity. I really can't hate myself more. It's all my fault. Every decision I made has led to where I am today. I have no one else but myself to blame on. I'll never forgive myself. The interview means the world to me and yet I was dumb enough to let my nerves got the best of me. Everything I have been fighting for and all the efforts I've put forward seemed to have vanished within that 15 minutes. 

Are 15 minutes really enough to determine whether to admit a student or not?

What if I was given an individual interview instead? Would the situation be turned around?

What if I had not prepared and just walk in impromptu? What if I had calmed down to allow myself to have a clear mind for the discussion?

I definitely would perform better. But so what? There's no second chance. A missed opportunity is a missed opportunity. I'll just take it as a painful reminder on my journey to future success.

YOU are Your Biggest Enemy

When we feel nervous over some important events coming soon, whether it's a big project, a presentation, or an interview, there're always so much noises in our head.

There seems to be an angel and a demon living inside. "You can do it! Don't disappoint yourself and everyone around you. Show them what you've got and kick some asses!" "No, you can't. You're just too weak. Look how strong your competitors are. Everyone just want to see you fail."

To a certain extent, the heated arguments may even turn into an intense fight. One of them may get terribly injured, while the other one will just take over the situation.

If it is the demon who is promoted to be the Director of your brain, it is highly possible that you won't succeed under such mindset.

In order to turn the situation around...

Remember, YOU are WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE. 

Trust yourself. Don't beat yourself up. The power comes from within, so does the enemy.

Let Go of Resentment

“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” ― Nelson Mandela

When you're mad at someone, it doesn't do any harms to them, but to yourself instead.

We need to have empathy, i.e. the ability to step into their shoes and understand that they're hurting you because they have problems in themselves.

Although it's very hard, we need to learn to forgive and live our lives.

Stand Up & Fight

Everyone has their own story. It's fine to feel sad. Cos' it proves that we're human.

How to Deal With Difficult People: Perception, Self-love & Empathy

Everyone has caught up with difficult people. It might be your boss, colleagues, friends and even family. 

And sometimes we really don't know how to deal with it except kept dwelling and dwelling into the hatred until it overpowered our emotional well-beings. But we could't let these worthless, non-constructive thoughts waste our time. We gotta STOP. However, every time those people's names, messages or photos popped up, it just brought back bad memories and negative thoughts. 

How should we deal with it?

Be Our Own Self

Admire how people express themselves
with their unique outfits at the punk side of London.
(Stable Market, Camden Town, London, June 2013)

There were times when I take everything others say about me into my heart. It was a time of low self-esteem and high sense of insecurity. It was very sad and pathetic that I tried to change myself in order to make myself likable for everyone.

How silly and ignorant.

Now, seriously, I just don't give a care about what others may think about me. It's just me, right here. Whether they like it or not, it's their own business. I can't please everyone cos there must be someone who dislikes me. And if someone dislikes me for my personality, it just proves that they're out of my league, and we won't get along well, so why bother wasting time on incompatible relations?

Evolving into this state of mind, I've learnt to be selfish. The logic behind is that we've gotta have a certain degree of confidence disregarding what others think, and refrain from changing ourselves according to their needs or mindsets.

Not sure why I'm bringing it up. Probably because I notice some of my friends are still clinging onto this kind of mindset which restricts themselves to expand and mature.