How to Deal With Difficult People: Perception, Self-love & Empathy

Everyone has caught up with difficult people. It might be your boss, colleagues, friends and even family. 

And sometimes we really don't know how to deal with it except kept dwelling and dwelling into the hatred until it overpowered our emotional well-beings. But we could't let these worthless, non-constructive thoughts waste our time. We gotta STOP. However, every time those people's names, messages or photos popped up, it just brought back bad memories and negative thoughts. 

How should we deal with it?

Reasons You Shouldn't Buy the 1st Generation Product of a New Invention

Costly.

Due to the high cost of research and development (R&D), a high price will be set in order to cover the cost.

It may not be the best model out there.

When a new invention is introduced to the market and receives positive feedback from customers, many rivals will arise and try to copy and adjust the model with some improvement. And so, at the later stage, there will be many more similar products with different selling points for you to choose from.

In addition to that, competitors may lower their prices in order to attract customers. Therefore, no need to hurry and buy it immediately when it's out. Just wait for a while.

Dead Relationships

You know the relationship has died when you don't even bother to block or avoid some people, cos whatever they do, it can no longer affect you anymore. There just isn't any curiosity or emotional link in between. Even when they do something wrong, you just don't bother reminding them. It seems that there's no chance you and them can get along well.

Overall, it's just plain dead.

People who Constantly Put You Down

Do you have a friend who always judge you? Whether it's your look, the way you talk, or your personality, they just pick on you in the most ways possible.

Why? 

There may be something in themselves that they find inferior than you, and they feel intimidated by it. It can be your appearance, academic performance or career prospect etc. 

What they're trying to achieve by giving you negative comments all the time is to pull you down to their level and elevate themself. So that they can raise their self-esteem and gain some confidence from you.

How should you respond to the attacks? 

DOS

- 1 - 

Act like you think they're crazy or talking shit by giving them immediate facial signs, e.g. a crazy, questioning stare; or

- 2 - 

Change the topic abruptly.

DON'T

Don't get defensive or start judging yourself like them cos that's what they really want - to make you less competent.

The above opinions and advices are generated from the excellent life coach Marie Dubuque. You may find her via her Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVHOBoWW_iZPexhtMX-uv8Q

The Cutest Ad I've Ever Seen!

Whether or not you're a cat lover like me, you're gonna loooooove this. I guess I just abused the replay button.

"McVities Digestive Biscuits Advert - Kittens" - TVadsRated

No words. Something just melted.

Learn to Say "No"

Some of us may find it difficult to reject a request which you don't actually wanna comply with. But why? How can we solve it?

Be the Real You

Social networks, like Youtube and Instagram, allow users to interact by posting comments. Sometimes the comments give the uploader motivations and encouragement, but there are also times it serves as an lethal injection, emotionally or even metaphorical-physically.

People leave nasty comments, such as personal attacks, which are completely non-constructive and not backed by any actual evidence. Seriously, it's a lose-lose situation. Not only does it diminishes your own image, it can really break someone's heart. If you're such a mean person, please go educate yourself and keep all those negativity in your own head.

One reason why people enjoy doing this is that they thought they can do anything they want on the Internet since they can be anonymous. Why would you do something that you won't do in real life on the Internet? Entertainers pay time and effort to create contents on the Internet. People should think before they comment. Be truthful and respectful. One person's hatred and nasty comment can arouse many more terrible comments from other people who don't know what they're doing and just randomly go with the flow.

Be mindful that there're also many teenagers who are at their age when they place so much importance on their own personal image and the others' opinions about them. A mature person can leave those nasty comments behind and move on, but it's very hard for teenagers to do so. Without sufficient support from family and friends, many of them experience fear, anxiety, depression and low self-esteem. Some of them even became suicidal.

The Internet is a real place, housing real people. Don't ever think about getting away with what you do on the Internet. Karma will get you and everything is trackable on the Internet. If you won't say it in real life, don't say it on the Internet neither. If you just wanna start a fight, go fuck yourself.

"No! I mean..."

I bet most of us have encountered the situation where someone "agrees" with you by saying "No! I mean it supposed to be..." blah blah blah and then repeat what you've just said.

Why did they have to do this? It's really annoying. And when I reply "Well, it's exactly what I've just said", they go ahead and say "Yea, but I mean..." blah blah blah switch to other aspect of the topic. Arghhhh!

Cut Toxic Ties

Cut ties with your toxic friends, cos it's more healthy for you emotionally. However, sometimes it's hard to identify a toxic friend, esp. the manipulative ones. 

For instance, those who constantly put you down and then apologize or use excuses like "come on! It's just a joke!". When they say something insulting or disrespectful like personal attacks, and make you feel small, mad or humiliated, they know it. They know it ALL too well. Yet, they don't wanna admit it that they made a mistake or the fact that they're assholes. And what do they do? Blame on you. 

"Come on!", "Seriously?" and "Really?" etc are phrases open to manipulation. It allows them to throw the bomb they're holding right back at you, and you start wondering "oh. Maybe I was thinking too much.", or "maybe I'm just being too serious. I should be more open-minded.", or I should be this, or I should do that. All of a sudden you start questioning YOURSELF and evaluating what's wrong with you. There you fell into the trap perfectly. All the faults have just been magically shifted from that asshole to you, the victim.

You may say that I'm exaggerating. But I ain't talking about some insults that happen once in a while when you hang out with that "friend" of yours. I'm talking about the situation in which that "friend" applied all kinds of manipulation skills on you and make you feel bad and negative around them.

Take my "ex-friend" as an example. I never thought that I'd dislike or even hate someone so much that I just gotta end the friendship with. Well, I met one. He didn't respect me at all and would disagree or judge literally EVERY SINGLE THING I said. Reasonable critics are good and can help us improve, but he was just unreasonable. It was very obvious that he was wrong, but he would either use the manipulation tools or defend himself with illogical arguments. I just got sick and gave up. There weren't any logic in the conversation, other than the dominating message: everything he said was right; all I said was bullshit. (Sorry for my language, but it's the most vivid and suitable adjective.) Anyway, it eventually reached the boiling point when I couldn't put up with his insulting "jokes" anymore. Before that, I wasn't quite awake enough to notice that I wasn't really "close-minded" and he was really being extremely mean and disguised them as jokes.

Finally I got rid of him. It was not that I haven't told him the problem, but I actually did and we got into unnecessary arguments where he just, again, made up illogical explanations for his ill manners.

Moral of the story: Identify and cut the toxic ties before it hurts you bad.

Anyway, it's such a lengthy post. If you made it till the end, don't forget to leave a comment. Thank you :P Wish you can spot those friends and cut the ties asap.

Weird Banner-making 1st Try: Consequence of Candy Overdose

Well, there I said it.

Be Our Own Self

Admire how people express themselves
with their unique outfits at the punk side of London.
(Stable Market, Camden Town, London, June 2013)

There were times when I take everything others say about me into my heart. It was a time of low self-esteem and high sense of insecurity. It was very sad and pathetic that I tried to change myself in order to make myself likable for everyone.

How silly and ignorant.

Now, seriously, I just don't give a care about what others may think about me. It's just me, right here. Whether they like it or not, it's their own business. I can't please everyone cos there must be someone who dislikes me. And if someone dislikes me for my personality, it just proves that they're out of my league, and we won't get along well, so why bother wasting time on incompatible relations?

Evolving into this state of mind, I've learnt to be selfish. The logic behind is that we've gotta have a certain degree of confidence disregarding what others think, and refrain from changing ourselves according to their needs or mindsets.

Not sure why I'm bringing it up. Probably because I notice some of my friends are still clinging onto this kind of mindset which restricts themselves to expand and mature.