Avalanche

This is it. I'm breaking down. Would I still do so if no one cares?

I'm blaming it to all my past life experiences and will merely stand here watching it all collapse, watching myself dissolve. I'm gonna make it dramatic, as if it's as traumatic as those who went through serious tragedies.

Disorganized, disoriented, detached; headache, insomnia, fatigue, unmotivated, aimless, ashamed, embarrassed, withdrawn, depressed, loss of appetite, anxious, intense heartbeats...

I don't know anymore. What am I supposed to do? How did I end up here? What do I even want?

One voice says I should runaway and heal in a secure place, another says it's not worthy to give up now and I should confront with my fear.

These voices are tearing me down. I really don't know what to do.