I was a Jerk when I was Young

I have a confession to make. I was an asshole before F2.

In primary school, in one occasion, a female classmate asked me about my feeling towards another classmate, who was known publicly to have a crush on me. In order to clear that up to the classmate who asked me that question, I said something nasty about the classmate who liked me and said I would never like him. And it was said in a loud volume in a classroom. Although it was just me and my classmate there in the classroom, someone could overheard it, and if that someone was the classmate who liked me, it would be very terrible and I feel super sorry...

In secondary 1, I once was being thrown insulting foul words on by a classmate in British Council who I thought was my friend. I did nothing wrong and she just yelled at me all of a sudden. I felt so shocked and confused. And I thought "is it how friends supposed to be? Do I have to throw one insults or two from time to time to my friends to keep myself looking cool and dominating?" It was the worst thought ever and cost me my secondary school life because I did the same thing to a classmate in school and I got bullied ever since.

It may not be the worst experience however. After all my attitude and life view have been completely shifted. I became much independent and caring, and had much consideration to others' feelings. If it wasn't for these experiences, I might not have gone good and might have become a really bad girl.

So these are my scars, but it's all past, and I've moved forward. The light is yet to come.